Monday, March 22, 2004

I'm Surrounded by the Absurd

I was out late on Thursday night. I'm talking really late.

So, on Friday morning, when I drove on the ferry, I did a double-take when I saw what was on the car ahead of me:

What the hell???

DIP ME IN HONEY AND THROW ME TO THE LESBIANS?

The vehicle was a ute -- as they call them in Australia, short for utility vehicles. Half car, half truck. Inexplicably, there were tons of these utes around when I was in Australia. I thought they died along with the 70s, but Australia has a tendency to time warp... a post for another day...

Anyway, the driver of this vehicle wore a baseball cap and sunglasses and a sort of BC hick outfit of lumberjack shirt over a t-shirt -- hey, it's morning, so I could've been seeing things. I took a photo of this vehicle just to make sure it wasn't my fuzzy imagination.


Close Call

I was late leaving the office on Friday, and was panicking that I wouldn't make the last ferry. I had to be on that ferry, not just to return the Volkswagen co-op Beetle, but because Allison's flight was due in at 10:21pm. (Allison is my sister-in-law's sister.) If I missed the ferry, I would've had to:

1) get Allan to pick up Allison
2) pay hefty fines for not returning the car on time (I had it until 3am, and someone booked it at 6am)
3) overnight on the Sunshine Coast at somebody's house

So, I kept my fingers crossed and sped like a bat out of hell down the Sunshine Coast Highway. I raced down the long hill that leads to the ferry terminal and what do you know -- there's an RCMP OFFICER waiting for me at the bottom of the hill, waving me over.

I was so mad! What is a police officer doing at the bottom of a 2km hill in front of the terminal booth just before the last ferry off the Sunshine Coast?? That is so DIRTY! That's like shooting fish in a barrel! If I missed that ferry (the cars were disembarking), I would've, I would've... I was so mad I couldn't think of anything! It's like my mind went purple.

Instead, I pulled over and rolled down the window.

Officer: "You realize that your excessive speed calls for a $368 fine, plus demerits on your license, and... blah blah blah"
Me, trying to keep calm, just looked him straight in the eye and without emotion said evenly and slowly: "I HAVE TO MAKE THIS FERRY"
Officer, without missing a beat: "You should've left earlier, then."

Standoff. I said nothing. There was a long pause. At that point, I would've paid the $368 on the spot to get the whole thing hurried up so I could actually make it to the booth. Because if he was actually going to charge me, I was still going to try to make that ferry!

After a pause that lasted an eternity, he let me go, and with a big sigh of relief, I drove to the booth to find out what lane to go down.

Bloody hell.