Is it a sign of the times that this longtime couple are going their separate ways? If these two can't stay together, who can?
I actually loathe Barbie. How she's managed to last this long is a mystery to me. When I was a kid, I didn't play with dolls, but I totally avoided Barbie. I just wanted her stuff -- not the ugly pink
Barbiemobile, but the house, furniture, clothes, shoes, everything else but that and the doll itself. It was unfortunate that everything she owned happened to be *pink*, the only colour I dislike categorically.
The main reason I disliked Barbie is that I didn't want to be her. I suppose this was a minority opinion as prepubescent girlie opinions go, but that was mine. Even that young, I thought Barbie's look was garish. Horrible makeup. Straw yellow hair. An inch away from white trash, really, and in her pink-and-white gingham summer beachy outfits she could pass for the dumb blonde in
The Beverly Hillbillies. Even now I absolutely refuse to buy any Barbie merchandise for my nieces. When I found out my 10-year old niece, Loraine, wanted a Barbie for her birthday I said
"forget it!" I know Melissa would love to get a Barbie, and no doubt Maddy would probably like one, too, but I refuse to give in to the ubiquitous mass marketing of this pink bubblehead clotheshorse. It gets harder all the time -- there are whole aisles devoted to Barbie stuff in the usual places, like Wal-Mart
(I shuddered when I walked in there for the first time last year and realized how much of a foothold she's got), FAO Schwarz
(how any employee can handle the canned FAO Schwarz music on constant rotation all day long without killing someone is a wonder), and of course Toys R Us. You can't walk through Toys R Us without encountering Barbie's plastic grin every 20 paces.
So, when I read this article about Barbie and Ken splitting up (
Muckdog beat me to it), my cynical side was bursting to get out and say something. After all, Barbie and Ken are supposed to be the embodiment of perfection, right down to their pearly whites.
Apparently, the Mattel spokesperson says they're "spending quality time -- apart" and will "remain friends", while -- of course -- announcing the arrival of Cali Barbie and her new admirer, Blaine the Australian boogie boarder.Ha! It's about time. You could tell Ken was a closet homosexual who secretly cross-dressed in Barbie's pink outfits when she was out shopping, and is now relieved he can move in with his gay lover, Tad, and plan their spring wedding in Massachusetts.
